Orange

Orange

75 W Harrison, Chicago, IL 60605

I posted a long rant about this place already on my bacon blog, but I suppose for the sake of posterity, I should say something about it here, and rather than repost my irate ramblings, I figured I'd try to write something a bit more level-headed and coherent. A few weeks later, I still think the place is totally overrated. But I'm ready to use my indoor voice when talking about it now. 

Ask any breakfast afficionado to recommend a place, and likely as not, they'll mention Orange. "They do this thing where they make fruit sushi, it's so neat!" The lines are famously long, but people swear up and down that it's worth the wait. But they're wrong. 

Granted, the interior is pleasant, and the place is actually well designed to handle hordes of hungry waiting people. At least, the Loop location is - I can't speak to the other ones. The place has a funky, upbeat feel to it. But what irritates me about it is that the whimsical funkiness of the place is a total illusion. It tries to pretend it's some fabulous fantasy candy land of no rules and sweets for breakfast (or fancyschmancy yuppy fare) but the food is decidedly mediocre and the experience is incredibly frustrating. It's misguided, is what it is. Almost anything you get off the menu will, at best, be fabulous for maybe two bites, but then you just want it to go away. And you'll kind of resent yourself for having ordered it, and for how much money you're about to pay for it. And in the meantime, you'll find yourself getting annoyed over petty, stupid things like the fact that they tie each set of silverware up with a string - what a waste of perfectly good string, not to mention, somebody's time just to tie that shit! Ugh! That's what Orange does to me. I can't stand the place. I try to play nice, I try to give it another chance, but it pulls the same ol' bullshit, and every time, I'm just a little more pissed. It's over, Orange. We are SO through.  Pack up your bland breakfast potatoes and candied pancake offerings and get the hell out.